When it all falls down
by nikkiloola
Summary: Friendships are an equal amount of give and take. If one takes too much, it crumbles. Senior year at Eden Hall lets Julie contemplate the past, the present and the future and a fractured relationship with Dean Portman.
1. The way things are

_Hi all. After being inspired by a number of fics on this site, I have decided to write my own. Hope you like it. Review this story so I know what I'm doing wrong or right._

_Disclaimer- Although Steven Brill is my long lost uncle and will relish the thought of turning over his mighty Ducks empire to me, I have to wait until the restraining order is cleared. Until then, Disney and Uncle Steven own the rights._

Everyone expected Adam and I to end up together. The kids who would fall in love in high school, be geniuses with the books, obsessed with playing hockey after college and marry, fresh out of college as virgins, ready to create a family.

Gag me.

I am nothing like Adam. My parents have good jobs and all the kids are out of home so we are well-off. But not disgustingly so like the Banks'. I am an A student with a smattering of smart subjects (English and French) but I am not a library nerd. And I love hockey but I do not spend my waking hours thinking of how to get drafted to the NHL as a child prodigy.

Oh yeah. I'm also not a virgin.

I snapped out of my daydream to hear Connie's voice outside the door. She was giggling with her boyfriend. I sighed and grabbed my runners lying on the floor. When she giggled like that I knew it was time to leave the room to the lovebirds.

'Hey Jules, we were just…' Connie broke off the sentence in a fit of giggles.

I could see why. Her boyfriend's beautiful angelic brown curls had been shaved off, leaving a criminal behind.

' Jesus, Charlie. Rob any banks lately?'

'Thanks for your input Jules. I think it looks good. And Connie seems to like it. Hey, do you want to feel it?'. He leant towards me with his bald head.

'No thanks Charlie. I will leave you two to get acquainted with Charlie's hair, or lack of. Just make sure he doesn't use my razor when shaving his legs in the morning please?'

'I'm a back, sack and crack waxer type of guy Jules', I hear as I shut the door behind me. Connie began to giggle again. Those two were like living and breathing Dawson and Joey. Although without the stupid floppy haircut that Dawson wore for almost the entire series.

I walked out of my dorm building and into the sunshine. I could smell the freshly shorn grass as I began to jog towards the soccer field. Connie and I had lived in McIntyre Dorm since we began as Freshman. As scholarship jocks (who managed to get out of a slump in first year and win the state title), we were given free accommodation. Connie originally lived off campus, leaving me in the clutches of a perky blonde cheerleader called April. I am ashamed to say that I actually started to recite some of the cheers when watching football games. When Connie heard me do that, she decided that living on campus wasn't such a bad idea. At least, I like to think that was why.

I had reached the soccer field and began to jog around the perimeter. I could see Fulton and Portman sitting on the bleacher seats talking to Guy which I found strange. Guy had become a fully fledged jock in sophomore year and spent more time on the football field and with the football guys than with his lifelong friends. This was one of the reasons why Connie and Guy broke up. I think she should have dumped him after he refused to stop wearing that ugly green hat when they were in 5th grade.

'Jules!'

I saw Portman waving frantically at me. Not that I could miss him.

'Hey guys, what's happening?' I smiled at Fulton who winked at me in return.

'Hey Jules', Guy smiled at me. I didn't really like him. He hit on me at a football party before he and Connie had ended. I slapped him in the face and was ready to go for the testicles when Portman pulled me off him.

'Not much. You up for a party tonight? Tim Harding is throwing some massive dig at his house on the beach.'

'Of course I'm there. I have to get away from the Connie and Charlie show for a while'.

Fulton laughed at Guy's reaction, as he scowled and looked away. It seemed that he still had trouble picturing his ex girlfriend and his ex best friend together.

'We'll pick you up at 8' Fulton told me as I moved off to continue my run.

Fulton was one of my best friends. He was my confidante, my protector, my buddy. There was no Dawson-Joey romance going on. He had been in love with Tammy Duncan since he was 11. She reciprocated the feeling this summer and they were having the cutest long distance relationship. I had become friends with Tammy through Connie and Fulton, and loved her to bits. I was thrilled.

Of course where Fulton comes, Portman goes.

Dean Portman. The rugged, handsome jock who strips in the penalty box and once bought a miniature pig to school for fun. The guy who makes everyone believe that he is this tough, smoking, leather wearing hooligan, when he loves to sit at home in his sweats and wife beater, watching the Notebook. Ok, maybe not the Notebook but he did like She's the Man.

He was also the requisite first.

I looked at the clock as it ticked over to 7.47. I was already dressed for the party; Connie and Charlie had also decided to come along. In fact, all the team was going.

Junior year put a split through the Ducks that no one thought would ever happen. Everyone thought we would be best friends forever and go to the same college and go through life living in the same street. But little by little, we drifted apart. Not so much that we were not friends- we played on the same hockey team. But we stoppe hanging around each other 24/7.

Charlie and Connie finally took the step from friends to lovers; this cheered all the Ducks up as Charlie had been in love with Connie for years, but managed to conceal it by dating a string of strange girls that didn't really care about hockey. I guess he was making sure they didn't perpetrate every part of his life like Connie did. Linda, Charlie's steady girlfriend for over a year was not a fan of any of us and vice versa. Her and Connie managed to have a screaming match in gym one day about how meat was not murder (or it was according to Linda). She was a bit of a psycho.

Adam became obsessed with hockey. It got worse after his brother Chase was drafted by the Calgary Flames and became an overnight sensation. Adam has been scouted by colleges since he was 12 and it looked like he would become the next Sidney Crosby. As we were varsity, he was the star player; but also played for the Junior Varsity when they needed players, as well as being an assistant coach. Charlie and Adam were still close and still shared a dorm but his fixation on hockey was scary for the rest of us.

Averman fell in love. He decided that training during the off season was not a bad idea. He bulked up and grew taller, lost the glasses and his off the wall comments started to be funny. He became the class clown, and managed to score himself one of the nice cheerleaders who actually thought of Connie and I as girls.

Goldberg found the home economics lab and spent most of his time in there. As Aves was his best friend, he joined him in the gym, losing some weight but mostly bulking up more as a combination of his cooking and weights. He became known as Mr. Mom, and fed most of us during junior year.

Luis stopped playing the field and settled down. No I'm kidding. But after Mindy thought she pregnant (one of the three girls he had on the side), he decided that being the school's Love God was probably a bad thing. He broke up with all the girls, started track and became All-National.

Guy became a football meathead. Connie dumped him sophomore year because of this, and the fact that he was caught under the bleachers with my ex-roomate April. He bulked up, so he is kinda hot in the 'I think I'm king shit' way.

Ken got a serious injury from figure skating in sophomore year, which meant he had to sit the whole season out. He grew as tall as Portman as well as growing his hair long and facial hair. He looked kind of like an Asian Fulton.

Jesse Hall came to Eden Hall junior year, after his brother Terry got sent to juvie for drugs. He became our second star player after Adam (became better than Charlie) and colleges have had him on their list for years.

Dwayne joined the equestrian team and became an overnight sensation, bringing with it some new skills on the ice, as well as a few skills with the ladies.

Russ left Eden Hall in sophomore year after the death of his father, Norm. He was coming back for senior year and Ken had informed us that he was 'one scary motherfucker'.

However, there were times when we all decided to hang out. Movie nights, parties and occasional get togethers at Casey's Diner were always fun times when we forgot about other parts of our lives and focused on the team. Of course, we were now Varsity.

I sighed as I looked at the photo of Ken, Portman, Fulton and I. We were our own little foursome within the team, and the day this photo was taken was no exception. Connie had just received this amazing new camera (photography had become one of her hobbies) and was taking random pictures on campus. She managed to take a photo without any of us looking. Fulton had Ken in a headlock and they were both smiling, while I was laughing at them and Portman was smiling at me while holding out an arm to protect me from their horseplay. It wasn't the most perfect staged picture- but it was definitely us.

A knock on the door broke into my thoughts. I grabbed my jacket and opened it.

'Heya' Fulton looked the same as always in dark denim jeans and a black tshirt.

" Hey Fult. This is ok for one of Harding's parties isn't it?' I twirled around in my dark denim miniskirt and an aqua tshirt. I couldn't have been bothered getting overly dressed up. Unlike Connie, whose pink minidress made Charlie take her back to his room immediately….

'You look great Jules, as always…whoa, make-up and all?' I nodded. It was senior year after all. Might be time to live a little, find some guys who don't just know me as the 'bash girl'.

I closed the door behind me and we walked down the corridor. Girls with rollers and gowns on screamed 'HI!!' to Fulton as they dashed between each others rooms. Rolling my eyes, I saw Ken and Portman waiting on the front steps, talking to a blonde girl wearing an outfit not unlike mine.

'Fult, who is…oh my god!' I screamed as she turned around to face me.  
'Jules!'

'Tammy!'

Yes, we did the whole scream the name and hug and jump up and down deliriously happy thing. It was a little more girly than I liked, but Tammy seemed to bring it out in me.

'Sorry Jules, it was a surprise- even Fulton didn't know', As he pulled her to him, I couldn't help but notice the happy grin on his face. Ken winked at me- so he was the one who Tammy had entrusted. Knowing our little foursome, she tried to inform at least one of us that she was coming, and usually took it in turns.

'Hey Julie, you look hot. Always knew you had it in you to find that make-up case we bought you…' Tammy laughed as I gave her the middle finger salute.

'Come on guys, lets motor- so many girls, so little time'. Ken jumped into the SVU drivers seat and we all piled in. I was next to Portman, who gave my hand a squeeze as Ken took off.

'You do look hot' his lips brushed my ear softly. And then as soon as it happened, it was over, his head turned towards the window, hands on his head. I sighed softly. It was happening again.

Tim Harding lived in a major mansion type place on the beach. His parents were in Europe and his brother Rob, who was a sophomore at UM, had come back to 'chaperone', which included getting the two kegs and numerous bottles of alcohol and retiring to his room to get stoned with 3 of his mates and his girlfriend. I could see that ending with an orgy.

Ken parked the car and we jumped out, Fulton almost getting run over by Adam's BMW in the process. Adam wasn't the greatest driver, and having a very tipsy Averman and Goldberg 'Dude, we hit the cooking sherry' wasn't doing him any favours. Also in the car was Averman's girlfriend Tasha, who looked annoyed at the boys antics. She perked up when she Tammy and I standing there laughing.

'Thank god! Some sane individuals! I thought I would have to hang around these idiots all night. I think I need a drink now. Why didn't you tell me that Adam was the worst driver in history?' She shuddered..

We laughed and walked up towards the house. I saw people everywhere- it looked like the whole senior class and most of the junior and sophomore classes had shown up. Tim stood at the front door in his football jersey, a beer bong in one hand and a large jesters hat on his head.

'Welcome all! Thanks for coming, Fulton, Portman, Kenny- you guys bring a bit of Fast and the Furious with you wherever you go. Jules- looking hot and hellooooo, who have we here?' He grabbed for Tammy's left breast, only to be stopped by Fulton's rather large arm.

'Tim, this is my girlfriend Tammy. Tam, this is Eden Hall's self appointed sex god running back'.

'Nice to meet you Tim. Most importantly, Brenda is happy to meet you', Tammy giggled as she patted her left breast.

'You call your left breast Brenda?' I asked quizzically, as Tim took a drunken bow and fell over. Amazingly, he didn't spill a drop of the beer bong.

'Yeah and the right one is Kelly. You know, from 90210'. I laughed as I pointed to my own.

'Peyton and Brooke, One Tree Hill'. Tammy and I were in hysterics, clutching one another and spluttering the names 'Peyton and Brenda'. The boys took one look at us, and moved into the house, shepherding us with them, still giggling.

Suddenly, the music stopped and cheers and whistles became louder. We walked into the loungeroom to find Luis doing backflips and breakdancing on the wooden floor.

'Good looking dancer.' Connie came up behind me and gestured to Luis with her eyes. Connie and Luis had a thing going on after the break up from Guy and Mindy but it hadn't lasted beyond casual sex. It was strange- we were the only two girls on the team and we tended to stick with people IN the team- Connie with Guy, Luis, Charlie and a drunken one night pash with Dwayne and me with Portman.

'Yeah, he got buff as. I cant seem to take my eyes off his torso..' Tammy was riveted to the scene in front of us. As was I.

Luis had gotten very fit from running, hockey and little things like breakdancing and capoeira that he did in the off season. His head was shaved and his skin was the colour of caramel. He was hot. I noticed the crowd watching him were mostly girls. And Adam. I still couldn't work out whether Adam was gay, or just wanted some tips.

'Stop staring at him! He is one of the family for gods sake' I hated when Charlie used his 'family' analogies when talking about the team.

'Does that mean we are in an incestuous relationship Captain?' Connie pouted at him, blowing him a kiss as she turned back to watch Luis.

'Jules, here' Ken had brought me a large tumbler full of vodka and orange juice and a shot full of a strange coloured liquid.

I sculled it down without wanting to know. The bitter tasting liquid hit the back of my throat as I swallowed, reaching out for the second shot glass that Ken had in his hand. He knew me too well- two shots of anything, a vodka and I was ready to party.

'Hi Julie' Kane McGregor walked past and stared at my chest, my legs and my face in that order. He was a friend of Guy's, the quarterback, and I had a brief dalliance with him after the thing with Portman. It was a bit of a mistake, considering I wouldn't sleep with him and he had an 'accident' in his pants. We swore never to talk about it to anyone, but it hasn't stopped him from trying it on every time he sees me.

'Kane, how's that girlfriend of yours?' Portman came up behind me and rested his hand on the small of my back. I shifted slightly to the right- I wasn't sure what game he was playing at.

'She's great…head cheerleader and all. Quarterback and head cheerleader are meant to be together you know? And cheerleaders give the best head if you know what I mean' He confided in Portman, eyes darting for Sarah, his girlfriend. I saw her talking to her posse in the kitchen, so I presumed he was safe.

I walked away with my vodka, shaking my head and with my back still tingling. I headed outside, to clear the crap from my mind. Finding an old tyre swing, I sat down, letting the wind sway me gently, staring out into the blackness of the night.

'Jules? You want to talk?'

I sighed. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

'Not really but you are not going to go away are you?'

'Nope'

And with that, Jesse sat on the ground, long legs folded underneath him. He had gotten so tall and broad. Hockey had made him into a man. He was never short on the girlfriend front; I thought many a time that he had a thing for Tammy, but it was never mentioned, although I would catch the odd glance in her direction whenever she was around.

'I saw Portman before and the way you shifted away from him'. Jesse was also annoyingly perceptive these days. With Terry in jail, he had to grow up faster, and became very mature. His hot headed demeanour never came out except for on the ice.

' What can I say Jess? It happened that way before- I cant risk it happening again.' I glanced sadly off towards the water.

'Tell me what happened Julie. I was around but not really involved in it all' He was right- only Portman, Fulton, Kenny and I knew the full story. I suspected even Tammy and Connie didn't know it all.

'It happened when you came back in junior year. Scooter had left Eden Hall, and we had broken up amicably, as he didn't want a high school girlfriend and I wasn't in love with him. He was interested in me- I liked that' I glanced at my hands.

'It was around the same time that we came together as a foursome- Kenny, Fult, Dean and I. It wasn't intentional- we liked the same music, laughed at the same jokes, and helped each other out on the ice and off. Going to the mall was great cause I didn't have to be dragged into every shop like with Connie and Tams- if I saw something I liked, I would try it on, with the boys waiting outside the shop for me, or coming in when I needed an opinion. But I always had a thing for Dean- he was this tough guy at Goodwill games, yet we were always on the same side. Even the whole Babe comment sucked me in' Jesse laughed softly at that, remembering how we met Russ.

'He started just like tonight- putting his hand on my back, grabbing my arm to move me through a crowded room, grabbing my hand to run faster. And the more he did it, the more he would let it linger and the more my heart would stop, then race. He kissed me for the first time at Charlie's birthday- when the lights went out for the cake, he grabbed me and kissed me. It couldn't have lasted more than 5 seconds but it was amazing'. I touched my lips, remembering every detail of the kiss.

'Then it just sort of happened. We would hold hands when no one was looking. Steal kisses behind the trees, or even behind Fulton and Ken. We would schedule 'study time' in my room when Connie was at Charlie, and didn't get a lot of studying done. We were a couple, but not to the public. Fulton and Ken caught us one day and we told them we weren't sure what it was but that we needed each other. Then, we slept together. The first time isn't supposed to be perfect Jesse, but it was. And the second, and the third…'

I broke off giggling as Jesse covered his ears.

'Ok i'll stop with the sex talk. But it went on for about 4 months, and no one suspected a thing. Then he slept with Jenna Harris, the blonde cheerleading slut who lived 3 dorm rooms from me. It wasn't even a mistake- he was worried about how fast we had both fallen and wanted to sleep with someone to see if it was real. Problem was, her best friend was my ex roommate April, who came and told me everything.

He claimed that he was miserable and that he thought of me the whole time. I couldn't forgive him Jess, I couldn't. I had fallen for him hard, and he admitted he had too. I stopped contact with him, but that was heartbreaking for me. I needed him. And I needed the boys as well. Ken was great- he dragged me everywhere with him, without Portman around. Fulton tried, but it was harder for him as Dean was his roommate and guy best friend. He took me places where Dean was- but strangely, that worked as well.'

'So for the last 3 months, we have come to be friends again. Im not sure I can take it again if he made a move on me. But on the other hand, I kinda want him to because I miss him as a…well you know..'

'A luvvvvvveeerrrrr?' Jesse raised one eyebrow which made me laugh.

'Yeah that. So now you know. If you tell Charlie, I will kill you'.

'Jules, Charlie knows. We all knew something was going on between Portman and you. You were both too happy around one another. The funny thing is, it was great for the team.'

'JULES!!' I heard my name being screamed out by Connie. I jumped off the swing and put out a hand to help Jesse up.

'Thanks Jess, I appreciate it'

'Jules, you don't have to always talk to Kenny or Fult- you can talk to us- after all, we are family'.

I smiled and walked towards the house with him. Connie came out screaming.

'JULES!! You gotta see this!! JESSE!! Quick!!'

We rushed into the house after Connie. There, in the middle of the dancefloor was a huge black man with tattoos, and a shaved R in his thick scalp. His body was amazingly fit in a white wifebeater and black pants. Turning around, he smiled.

'Jules! Long time no see' he said, enveloping me in a hug.

'Hi Russ' I said into his massive chest weakly. Since when did Russ Tyler look like this?

After Russ had said his greetings to everyone in the team, we all went outside to find out how he was doing. He was so tall- it was strange, most of the guys had shot up in Junior year and filled out, but none were as big as Russ. He looked 25 at least and not an ounce of fat on him.

I leaned back against Ken as Russ told us about his dad and what had happened in the year after his death. His dad had cancer, and by the time he was diagonosed, he only had 3 months to live. Before that happened, his brother was shot dead by a gang as he worked in an all night grocery store, helping to pay the bills. This the team already knew- Charlie, Connie, Ken and Fulton had made the trip to the funeral.

Russ pulled the family together. He worked 2 jobs to cover all the bills while his mom got her counseling degree and studied at night. His older sister Kareisha got married and had an adorable little boy who Russ adored. When his mum was qualified, she told Russ to get back to Eden Hall to get his education- she didn't want him working in a gym for the rest of his life.

I wiped away a couple of tears and saw Connie and Tams doing the same. Russ had been through so much- yet he was back with us and looked so happy to be here.

'Dude, I'm glad you're back', Fulton broke the silence that had ended the story.

'We all are' Averman echoed, followed by a chorus of voices.

'Thanks guys, I appreciate it. Where's the beer?' Russ chuckled and turned towards the house. 'This is getting way to Oprah for my liking'.

Everyone got up laughing and began to make their way towards the party. I could hear the cheerleaders doing a cheer in the middle of the loungeroom. Any excuse for attention.

'Jules, we need to talk'. Portman grabbed my hand and pulled me in the opposite direction. I saw Jesse and Ken look back with worried looks on their faces. I smiled and nodded, and they continued back into the party.

'Dean, where are we going?' I asked him, maneuvering around trees and bushes.

'Just here'

At the end of the property was a clearing, where there was clearly some sort of football pitch marked out. The grass felt soft underneath my shoes, and I kicked them off as Dean sat me down.

'I need to talk ok? I am going crazy with you. I saw you talking to Jesse before and the amount of jealousy that I got was huge. Why do you do this to me?' He stared at me, as if the answer was written on my face.

'I am in love with you. I always have been and probably always will be. And I stuffed it all up with the stupid mistake I made sleeping with Jenna. I know you hate me. I hate myself. And I know you want to be friends and Im fine with that, but I thought you should know' I stared at him as he turned towards the darkness of the trees.

'Dean?'

'Dean?'

'Portman, look at me for god's sake!' At this, he turned towards me. I grabbed his hand, running my fingers over his palm, calloused from woodwork and shop, and hockey sticks and fights.

'I think I love you too' At this, he cupped my face in his hands, and kissed me.


	2. A mistake

**First of all, thank you so much to my reviewers! Having never written a fan fiction story before, I was a bit apprehensive. But to see the comments, I felt a warm fuzzy glow. You rock!**

**Pitaqueen- I agree, Connie and Charlie are a great couple. And I am a Portman/Jules fan from way back- noticed the sexual tension in the locker room in D2. I'll try and up the C/C exposure for you.**

**Sphinx005- Ahh you made my day. I have so many favourite Portman/Jules stories, and yours and GalindaPopular's stories are amongst them. By the way, I can't wait to see how Beauty Knows No Rivalry turns out- I love the Tammy/Fulton coupling**

**Disclaimer- Ok, so the restraining order is cleared, but Uncle Steven won't answer the phone, even though I left TONS of messages to call me. Until he does, Disney and Uncle Steven own the rights.**

We emerged from the clearing when we heard Fulton and Ken call our names. I made sure all the leaves were off my clothes and out of my hair before we walked back up. It hadn't accomplished anything- only the fact that the sex was great. We didn't hold hands or touch or kiss- we walked back silently.

'Are you guys ok?'

'Yeah we're good. Found some kind of football pitch though. Man, I need a drink'. With that, Portman headed towards the house in long strides.

I stared after him. What the hell had just happened?

I saw Fulton and Ken exchange glances and the Ken went after Portman. Fulton grabbed my hand to lead me back up to the house.

'C'mon Julie, let's go up.'

'Fult, I don't know, we just, what…I don't even know what I am saying'.

'I know. Let's go back up ok? It will be ok, I promise'

As I walked back in the front door, I noticed Dean in the lounge, swigging from a plastic cup full of beer and talking very closely with one of the cheerleaders. He turned his head when he realised that someone was staring at him and noticed me there. I expected him to jump up and come towards me, but he just turned back to the cheerleader.

'Jules, lets get hammered.' Tammy grabbed my arm and reefed me into the kitchen. I saw Connie at the blender mixing a pink concoction and knew that the three of us would be very sick in the morning.

As we drank our weird cosmopolitans, I spilled the story to Connie and Tams about what I had just seen and done. Tammy stood up in a fit of rage.

'I'm going to kill him. No, I'm seriously going to kill him' With that, she tried to storm out of the kitchen. Unfortunately, Tim's jester hat was lying on the floor and she went skidding to the doorway, where Russ was standing.

'Whoa there Tams, where you off to in such a hurry?' 

'Im going to kick Portman's arse'

'Maybe that's not such a great idea sweetie' Fulton came into the kitchen looking mad. He grabbed Tams and sat her down on a kitchen stool where she wavered for a moment and then regained her balance.

'Hey Cons, what do you call your boobs? Mine is Brenda and Kelly'

'HA! Mine are Peg and Meg'

As the two of them cackled hysterically, I looked at Fulton, holding Tammy's waist. He was looking at me sadly.

'Where is he?' I whispered.

He shook his head. Suddenly I had had enough of this party. I jumped off my stool and headed for the door.

'Jules, where are you going?'

'JULLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEE'

'Julie, Don't leaaavvve. We have more pink stuff!'

I turned and blew kisses at both of them. Fulton had gotten Russ to hold Tammy while he came after me.

'Fult, leave me. I need to find Kenny and get him to drive me home now.'

'Jules…..'

'No, I need to go now.'

And then I saw him. He was up against the wall with the same blonde cheerleader as before kissing fervently. Any closer and you would have needed a vice to separate them. His hands were cupping her arse cheeks and her hands were underneath his shirt.

I felt Fulton's hand on my shoulder as I stood staring. It was like a bad car accident- I wanted to look away but I couldn't.

'Jules, lets go. Julie? We're leaving now'. Ken and Jesse had come from somewhere and led me to the front door. Fulton had disappeared- I presumed he had gone to get Tammy.

We finally got to the car and Jesse pushed me into the backseat and jumped in after me. I started to protest that there wasn't enough room. But he held me tight as my protests gave away to the tears that had been threatening ever since Portman had walked away. I wasn't the sort of girl to cry at the drop of a hat, but to the boys' credit, they didn't say a word, just let me cry. I vaguely heard Fulton tell Ken to go ahead and he would catch a ride with Charlie. Russ jumped in the front seat and we sped off, tyres squealing. Jesse held me tighter and rocked me back and forth as I sobbed in his arms.

'Jules, I know you don't want to hear this right now', Ken looked at me in the rearview mirror, 'But he's a player and always will be. He's too scared of commitment and the worse thing is that I think he actually does love you. But every time you guys get close, he's afraid of what that might do to him as a man- or something like that'.

I could see Russ nodding in the front seat as Jesse clucked his tongue. I stared out the window, watching the trees fly past as I brushed the tears off my cheeks.

'I'm hungry'.

With that, Ken pulled over to a 24 hour roadside diner. I must have looked an absolute mess- tear-stained cheeks, messy hair, grass stains on my skirt.

Over doughnuts, pancakes, bacon, sausage, hash browns, spaghetti, nachos and ice cream (it was good to see Russ hadn't foregone his appetite), I told the boys what had happened. Ken already kind of knew about earlier, Jesse knew the first story and Russ had only heard snippets. It was good to get the full story out.

'I'm gonna kill that motherfucker- he's not much bigger than me now is he? Russ cracked his knuckles.

'I'm pretty sure you are bigger than him now dude, but I wouldn't try it. Portman does some sort of boxing shit these days' Ken gave him a warning look.

'Don't give a shit- Jess, you in man?'

'Dude, no way. I might have grown some but I'm nowhere near his size. Plus, I don't think that's what Jules wants us to do'. I nodded wearily.

'I'm a bit over it all now guys. I know he told me that he loved me, but maybe it was all crap. I don't know. This is the second time that this has happened- I don't want to see if 'third time luck' works for me. Let's just go home, and I'll think about it more in the morning.'

We walked out of the diner and to the car in silence. Before I got in the car, Ken pulled me into a hug.

'We love you Jules. We won't let him hurt you again'. With that, he jumped in the drivers' seat and we drove back to Eden Hall. I wished it were that simple.

When I woke up the next day, Connie was actually asleep in her bed alone, which was a rare occurrence. Usually, she stayed at Charlie's, or he stayed at ours. They had a very complicated system of getting past the night monitors involving a whistle, two buckets and Goldberg but it always seemed to work.

I stepped over her clothes, her handbag and a bucket (so that was why Charlie didn't stay) and went into the bathroom. Each dorm room at Eden Hall was pretty similar and more spacious than conventional dorm rooms. The bathroom and the main room was quite large, and as seniors, we also had a tiny sitting room at the front door, which meant that no one peered straight onto our beds or at any of our bras hanging up in the bathroom.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I had slight bags under my eyes due to the crying that I did once the boys had dropped me off. Ken offered to stay with me, but I needed to be alone. My hair was everywhere and I was a strange colour- not the usual golden brown. My face took on a sort of greenish tinge.

'Fabulous' I muttered, turning on the taps to wash my face. As it was a Sunday, we had no practice or games so I didn't have to worry about running into Portman. I decided today would be a shopping day- I needed some new clothes before school started the next day and I was pretty sure Tams would still be around.

'JULIE!! I THINK IM GOING TO BE SICK!'

With that, I opened the door and a very yellow Connie rushed in. She stood over the toilet and took a deep breath.

'Good morning sunshine. How are you feeling today?'

'Bite me' she managed, as she sunk onto the tiled floor.

'Up for some shopping?'

'Only if we get Starbucks first and a massive greasy break-' she broke off and stuck her head over the toilet.

After Connie had finished throwing up and had had a shower ('I feel awesome- where's my Starbucks?') I called Fulton's cell to see if Tams was still around.

'Hello?'

'You sound like death. Actually, you sounded like Connie did about 20 minutes ago'

'I can imagine. She was rotten last night. I'm ok actually- spent more time trying to stop Tammy from showing Brenda and Kelly to the world. She has an unhealthy fascination with her boobs'.

'I'm aware of that. Is she still there? I wondered if she wanted to go shopping with us today.'

'She is and she probably will. Hold on a sec'

'Jules?' a very small voice jumped on the phone

'Hey Tams, not feeling so good huh?'

'I feel terrible. Maybe if I threw up and then had a shower I might be ok?'

'Well Connie just did that so I think its worth a shot' Connie screamed hello into my ear.

'Want to come shopping and breakfast?' I got a very small sigh and then Fulton came onto the phone.

'I think the breakfast comment did it Jules. She's throwing up and is saying with her fingers to give her 2, no twenty minutes and she will fine. Come pick her up in 30 and she'll be ready' I heard Fulton laughing as his girlfriend threw up the contents of her stomach.

'Eww. Ok I'll see you soon- wait Fult, is..?'

'No Jules, he's not here. I kinda went off at him last night, so Jesse slept in here and Portman is in with Dwayne'.

'Thanks Fult- see you soon'

Connie had jumped on the phone with Charlie and was making some gasping sounds. I wondered if Charlie was breaking up with her.

'Are you sure? Oh my god that is the best news ever! What about…oh ok' She glanced at me as I watched her.

'Bye, I'll see you after lunch, yes love you too'. I looked at her with interest.

'Charlie said that apparently Tammy said that she is coming to Eden on a full athletic scholarship for figure skating! She was so drunk last night she blurted it out and she was supposed to keep it a secret until this afternoon when we would have had to taken her to the airport. Isn't this the best news ever?' She hugged me and I grinned at her.

'That is awesome! I love Tams and now she is going to be here with us- I wonder where she is going to live?'

A knock on the door broke into our thoughts. Connie bounded into the sitting room and opened the door. I peered out.

'Its ok Jules, it's not him'

'No it's me' Ken walked into the room. 'What are you gorgeous ladies doing on such a great day?'

'Going to the mall- care to join us?' I raised my eyebrows at him comically.

'I doubt it- Jules, the mall? You're going with Tammy and Cons?'

'I need some girly stuff' I shrugged.

'Well in honour of Russ being back we have scheduled a hockey game this afternoon at the Blacktop courts. Just bring your skates, your ducks jerseys and a white top. Teams will be picked down there'. He turned to go.

'Have fun shopping guys. Jules, he's going to be there, just a warning. He's still a duck after all.'

'That's ok Kenny. Thanks'

I grabbed my bag and my jacket that were strewn over a lounge chair.

'Let's go shopping Cons'

The mall was packed. For some strange reason, I kept seeing very cute guys everywhere. One smiled at me so hard, I was blinded. Had I never noticed these guys before?

'You were too hung up on Portman' Tammy said matter of factly.

'He told me he loved me and he wanted to be with me'

'Then after he got what he wanted from you, he pissed off all the emotional stuff and then screwed Leslie Hemmings in the bathroom…oh shit'

I went white. I saw him kissing her- I never imagined he would have sex with her less than 20 minutes after we did it.

'Jules, I'm sorry, I wasn't supposed to say anything' Connie looked on the verge of tears.

I felt terrible. Not just because of the whole Dean and I situation, but because this was affecting the rest of the team as well.

'Don't worry about it Cons. Everything will be ok. I would like to think it's a mistake but I doubt it. I just don't know what I am going to do' We had reached a pet store and I looked at the puppies sadly. One gazed solemnly back at me and then licked the glass. It looked so happy with itself. I wished I could be like that. Not licking glass, but to get excited over the little things again.

After Connie had bought a gorgeous pair of butter coloured boots and Tam and I had bought some meaningless stuff we would probably never use or wear, we headed back to Eden Hall to get ready for the hockey game.

'So Tam- heard you're staying?' I looked at her slyly.

'Yeah yeah I know you know- stupid me for getting drunk last night- I had the whole surprise planned out and everything!'

'We could pretend we don't know'

'Nah its cool. But its exciting! Oh and you haven't heard the best part- Im moving to the dorm next door!

'But the next doors a single'

'Exactly'

Connie screamed. Then I did. Tammy was going to be right next door without any stupid cheerleader roommates to annoy us. It would be just like we were all ina dorm together.

'Apparently the girl in there…

'Yasmeen from Sri Lanka' Connie and I chorused.

'Yeah. She had to go back to Sri Lanka and I got her room. They were going to put me in with some cheerleader type but then the single came up. It was just a fluke it was next to you guys. Man, senior year is gonna rock!'

'Yeah it is…are Brenda and Kelly excited?' Connie giggled.

'Hmm lets see- oh a carload of boys, let them decide' Without warning Tammy had pulled up her top and was exposing Brenda and Kelly to the car full of college guys next to us at the lights. Yep senior year was definitely going to be something else.


	3. Love Ridden

**Once again, thank you to my STAR reviewers- I am now going to review every single story that I love or hate because it makes them feel good (or bad- but I don't want to make them feel too bad).**

**GalindaPopular- It means a lot that you are reading this. I adore your stories. I had a conversation with someone about naming boobs, and she really did call them T.V show characters (she called them Piper and Phoebe).**

**Footychick- love the pen name, thanks for reading. I'm trying hard to update I promise.  
**

**sphinx005- Aww I did want to put Julie buying a puppy but I didn't think it would be allowed. I went and looked at puppies today- took my friend a while to drag me away. Don't hate Portman too much yet, there's plenty of angst ahead.**

**Elyse Black- really appreciate your review, I didn't realize how hard it is to write a story and keep coming up with plot lines. I applaud everyone who has multiple stories. There are so many good writers on here, it's unbelievable. Update Love Cat soon- I was intrigued when you put Dr. Steven Brill in. **

**Disclaimer- My mum told me to stop calling Steven Brill 'Uncle Steven' as he is only my mum's sisters' best friends' sons' godfather and is, in fact, no relation to me. However, I believe I am adopted and that he is actually my real uncle (or possibly my father). But until the DNA comes back, Disney and Uncle Steven own the rights.**

We got to the blacktop courts where Charlie and Adam were setting up the goals. I could see Portman and Ken talking intently underneath one of the basketball hoops. I turned away but not before seeing Portman look at me. I could feel his eyes boring into the back of my skull as I walked over to Russ and Jesse.

'Hey guys'

'Hey Jules, ready for some whipping ass action?' Russ smiled at me. In the sunlight he was even bigger and taller than he was last night.

'Hell yeah- it's the only time I actually get a chance to play hockey and score goals instead of stopping them'.

'Hey Tams what about you? You in?'

Tammy laughed. The last time she had played in one of them she had mildly sprained her ankle. Her coach threatened to kill us all with his bare hands if she didn't make nationals because of the injury. Luckily, she went to nationals, coming 2nd.

'That would be a hell no. I'm happy just to sit here and keep score. Maybe do my nails. Jules bought a great coloured nail polish- slut red wasn't it Jules?'

'Something like that Tams' I grinned. I could see Portman trying to listen in on the conversation discreetly. It wasn't working.

'TEAMS!!'

I ended up on Jesse's team, along with Portman. Strangely, I was glad, as I didn't want him to try and talk to me while going for the puck. It was a pretty standard game. Adam and Dwayne decided to showcase their moves on one another as usual. Connie and Charlie kept groping each other, Fulton kept sneaking lovesick looks at Tammy and I scored a goal, which was exciting for me. Portman stayed away from me. Jesse made sure that we were substituting each other, so that we were not on the court at the same time. As we gathered our stuff to leave for the dorms, Ken took me aside.

'I'm not sure if you know already but Portman and some cheerleader..'

'Yeah I know. They had sex in one of the bathrooms. I heard.' I tried not to look at him when I said it.

'No Jules, nothing happened. Apparently he took her in there attempting to do the deed but couldn't go through with it. Word is, she wanted to slash her wrists after the first 15 minutes of Julie talk'

I glanced at him. He had a glimpse of hope on his face. I didn't believe a word of it. Not coming from Kenny- he would never ever lie to me. But I suspected that it may have been a story concocted by Portman and the cheerleader to spare my feelings. Too late for that.

'Whatever Kenny, I don't care about him anymore. You need a lift?' I gathered the rest of my stuff and headed towards my car. I had only had my car for 5 months and I loved it. It was a jeep but it was a weird blue-green colour. I got a discount because apparently some Paris Hilton wannabe ordered the car then Daddy cut the trust fund. Whoops. She shouldn't have put her crack purchases on the gold VISA.

After we got back to the dorms, dinner was ready in the dining hall. The dining hall was a weird place. It was great for breakfast, with cold and hot food, fruit, pastries and bagels; ok for lunch but the standard cafeteria meals as well as a fully stocked salad and dessert bar and terrible for dinner. It was like they put most of the effort into providing breakfast and had no energy left for dinner. Most students ate off campus including the Ducks- it was either Mickey's or one of the home town Ducks. But for some reason, Sundays in the dining hall was the best night. They offered everything under the sun. I believed they just cooked all day Sunday, then re-warmed the leftovers from Sunday night for the rest of the week.

I grabbed a tray and walked towards the hot food. I could see roast beef on the menu and salivated. No vegan diet for the Cat. Suddenly, someone grabbed my arm.

'Do not get the beef Julie! I heard it may still be alive and worse- remember Daisy the cow- well that's her' this last part was said in a stage whisper.

I laughed. On our hockey hiatus, I had joined the drama club to do something different. Funnily enough, so did Portman. But in the darkened theatre, I had forged a friendship with the one and only Noah Simmons. He was blonde, blue eyed and the object of many girls' affections. He was also proudly gay, which either worked for him or against him, depending on who was beating him up. But he was one of the funniest people I knew at Eden Hall and all the Ducks liked him. He was also the self-appointed Ducks head Cheerleader and lead all the cheers at games, wearing a ducks jersey and…well actually, little else.

'What's happening Noah? When did you get back? Want to sit with us today?'

'Of course Jules. Got back this afternoon and heard I missed a cracker of a party, including the football teams' naked run for glory around the house. Heard a rumour today too. Some blonde, blue eyed ice dancer is coming to Eden Hall and, word has it, may try and upstage me for Homecoming Queen'. He looked outraged, but I could see a twinkle in his eye.

'Her name is Tammy, she is Fulton's girlfriend, and I'm sure she would vote for you as Homecoming Queen. Who wouldn't?' I grinned as I selected the roast beef and veggies and headed to the salad bar.

'That is true. Spoke to Ken today as well- is it true about Portman?' The best thing about Noah was that he was blunt. As a pencil. He also knew the entire history of the J and P saga, the only non-duck to know it all and alternatively hated/liked Portman on the basis of where I was at. But he thought Portman was extremely hot and tended to drool whenever he was around without a shirt. So he was kind of biased.

'Yeah but I do not want to talk about it right now. We will have a girly session one of these nights and we'll discuss' Noah nodded excitedly. He loved girls' nights more than Connie.

Once we got to the table, Luis, Dwayne, Portman and Fulton were busy eating. Tammy was no where to be seen, while I could see some of the other ducks at the dinner line. It was weird how a hockey game had brought us together again. Usually, we all did our own thing for dinner, except after trainings and games.

'Hey guys, where's Tams?' I did not make eye contact with Portman as I sat down.

'Hi guys' Noah gave a little wave. A very camp wave.

'Hey Noah. Tammy is seeing the Dean. He wanted to welcome her to Eden Hall. I would be jealous except I am pretty sure he likes boys…oops sorry Noah'

'No offence taken there, Fulton. Hmmm I wonder if he uses those Brazilian fire ants in interesting sexual games' his brow furrowed in concentration, presumably thinking about the games.

In unison, Portman and I burst into laughter. I glanced at him to see him give me a small shy smile. I looked at him and forced my face to go blank. I didn't know what else to do. For the teams sake, I knew I should get along. But for my sake…I just didn't know. I looked down and stabbed my roast beef with my fork.

'Whoa there Cat, don't take it out on Daisy. It wasn't her fault. It was Portman. So Portman, what's the story with the chick in the bathroom?'

Oh god. Someone kill me.

Portman glanced at Noah who was staring straight at him, a sly look on his face, while his eyes were glittering with…rage. Noah was angry for me. Bless his heart. I felt all warm and fuzzy for about a second. Then I realized that Portman could kill him with his bare hands.

'Noah, stay out \of this' Portman growled, looking at his plate.

'No'

'Noah!' I burst out, pleading with him telepathically to drop it.

Portman pushed back his chair silently. Goldberg and Averman had just reached the table and from the looks on their faces, they realized that something was up. With a quick glance at me, Portman stole the roll off Goldberg's tray and walked out the door.

'Crap. You mean to tell me that something went down while we were getting food? Damn Goldberg, I told you not to get into a conversation about the gravy with Denise the dinner lady. Now the Portmanator is gone and I have no idea why' Averman sighed dramatically.

'Portmanator?' Luis snorted

'Don't worry Averman. You didn't miss much. It seems that Portman is too afraid to admit what he got up to last night. Besides breaking Julie's heart.' I had never seen Noah so angry. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes had a…well the word for it was homicidal glint.

'Noah, you might want to stay out of this. It's bad enough with everyone knowing. But Jules doesn't need this right now' Fulton spoke calmly, spearing a roast potato.

'Yeah you're right, she doesn't. But you Ducks need to get a clue. Its either him or her- you can't have everyone playing happy families. Now Jules has to endure him every waking second because you can't mess up the team morale' Noah spat the last word out as if it was dirt. Suddenly, I had a feeling why he was being like this.

'Sorry guys, we have to go' I grabbed Noah and pulled him to his feet. He protested for about half a second, then let me lead him out the door. I snuck a look over my shoulder and raised my eyebrows at Ken. He nodded slightly. s

While Fulton was probably my best friend out of the guys, Ken was my twin, my brother from another mother so to speak. He understood me better than anyone, and we had little quirks for each other to let each other know that we were ok, or to meet up. Our eyebrow-nod thing was a signal to meet up before curfew. I couldn't believe that the rest of the Ducks hadn't caught on to it yet.

Noah had gotten ahead of me and was striding down the corridor towards the dorms. Once we hit the doors outside, he exploded.

'What the hell is wrong with you people? Everybody said to me, Noah don't make friends with those Duck people, they are completely and utterly weird. I mean, they quack at each other or some shit. And I thought, no Jules is cool, the rest of them must be cool too. But Portman does some bullshit to you like screw another girl, even though you guys have just recently patched everything up, but does it in front of everyone. I mean, is the guy crazy? Why couldn't he be normal and keep it in the bedroom or a dorm room. And Leslie Cummings- the girl had syphilis last year. That's all I'm saying. I mean, its not rocket science honey, its called protection. Jesus.' Noah ran his hand through his hair. I just stared at him.

'Why are you not angry about this? I know you say you're over him, but you're not, and I don't care how long it was since you guys had sex, you had the whole torturous relationship thing going on…'

'Last night' I interjected quietly.

'And Fulton. I mean what the hell? I know the guy is his best friend and all but can't he keep him on a leash? Portman is a menace to…what?'

'Last night. Last night we had sex. He told me that he was in love with me and then we had sex and then he bailed and the next I see is him kissing Leslie up against the wall. Then I left and apparently they screwed in the bathroom.' I swallowed hard, looking at the ground. I knew Noah was going to go into meltdown over this.

'Oh Jules' He stopped pacing and grabbed hold of me. I felt tears prickle my eyes.

'But there's something else isn't there Noah? Something that you are not telling me, the reason why you are off your rocker tonight. What's happened?'

'Brad dumped me. Told me he needed to be with someone who wasn't so dramatic. Oh and something about wanting to stay in the closet to protect his inheritance. Damn me for hooking up with a trust fund college boy' He smiled wryly.

'Noah, I'm so sorry'. Brad and Noah had been dating for three months and everything seemed to be going really great. He was a sophomore at Minnesota U, rich but deep in the closet. Apparently his family would kill him if they knew. He was a nice guy, but usually clung to Connie or I when we were out, presumably to pretend that we were his girlfriend if anyone he knew showed up. He was a bit wimpy but had an undeniable charm.

'Meh, you win some, and you lose some. I thought he was a keeper, but apparently not. But going off like that really helped Jules. Sure I can't stab Portman for you? Might give me some closure. Maybe with a compass?'

I laughed as he twirled me around. I could see the pain in his eyes when he spoke about Brad.

'No it's ok. But I think we might have to speed up our girls' night to tonight. I'll grab Connie and the movies, you grab the food. My dorm, 30 mins?'

His eyes lit up.

'It's a date. Oh and I want to meet Tammy too- maybe I can disfigure her to win Homecoming Queen' He pouted at me as he hugged me one last time and ran off.


	4. On the bound

**Once again, a shout out to my fabulous reviewers. Please R & R if you have the time. My ego is loving it- and you.**

**Galindapopular- Do not blush, the praise is all warranted. I can't wait for the 3****rd**** part of the Catlady series (at least that's what its called in my head) to come out. I'm glad you like this story. I didn't realize how exciting it was to get reviews all the time! **

**ElyseBlack- Noah is great. I didn't want to put OC's in my story but he popped in. There will be couple more integral ones, but I don't want them to overshadow. Can't wait for the update- but now I finally realize how hard it is to update all the time, so take your time.**

**Pylea- thank you so much for the review, I think all girls secretly have names for their boobs, even if they don't admit it. I'm glad I have made it realistic, when I write it, I kind of wish I was at the school with them.**

**Disclaimer- Well, considering Uncle Steven won't give me a call, let alone a DNA swab, I'm still waiting. But never fear- I have been in contact with Emilio and he's going to do his best to convince him to contact me. But until Emilio persuades him that I'm a good person,Disney and Uncle Steven own the rights**

I went and got Connie from Charlie's room. For once, they were actually clothed. Connie jumped at the chance for a girls' night and so did Charlie. I expected he needed some manly time to hang out with Adam. Sometimes this involved trying to find out if Adam was gay, other times it really was manly time, where they watched sports and debated over who was the best defenseman in the NHL.

Once we stepped into the hallway of our dorm, it was chaos. Girls were screaming and running between rooms, and I could see Noah outside our door, watching them all with interest.

'What is going on?'

'Well ladies, since tomorrow is the first day of senior year, all the ladies want to look their best. Plus they have heard that there is new male transfer students or something, which I for one, am excited about. Oh, and Tammy moving in shook them up a little. Yasmeen was pretty, but Tammy is gorgeous. So it's a competition to see who will look better on the first day' he laughed as two girls ran past, squawking to each other about the use of a hair straightener.

'Oh yes, the dreaded first day. Guess we can't stay up all night huh?'

'Well ladies, its only 7. We have 4 hours to bitch, moan and watch Sisterhood of the Traveling pants until lights out. Plus, I have to co-ordinate your outfits for tomorrow' he grinned, pushing open the dorm door. Tammy ran in behind us.

'Oh my god, a girls night in! How exciting. You must be Noah. Fulton has told me so much about you. Give me about 15 minutes to gather my stuff and throw my boyfriend out of my room. He's organizing my books in alphabetical order' she shuddered, skipping out of the room. Fulton liked everything to be neat, tidy and preferably alphabetized or colour co-ordinated. Including his socks. It was weird.

'I love her already!' Noah looked delighted, fishing out a black long sleeved shirt with Metallica written on it from my closet. 'Julie, this is disgusting. Under no circumstances are you to wear this outside this dorm room. I mean it'

'It's Portman's'

'Then you shall give it back and let him wear it. He can't dress properly anyway. Who doesn't wash their bandana in a month? And he played hockey in it. Breeding ground for disease' Noah sighed in disgust.

While we waited for Tammy, he organized our outfits for the next day, while Connie and I set the room up. I apparently was wearing jeans and a white eyelet style sleeveless peasant top, which Noah pronounced as too cute for words. He picked out a denim miniskirt and singlet top for Connie, with a headscarf. I shook my head as he looked at the clothes laid out on the bed.

'You are as camp as a row of tents you know?'

'I'm aware of that. I like to think I'm the male Rachel Zoe of styling.'

Once Tammy was in, we gossiped, ate, did our nails (including Noah's toes), ate, watched the Sisterhood and cried and gossiped.

' God I love that movie. Its just so sad. And Kostas, what a babe. Lena should have just given it right up to him on the docks. Boy, I think I need to go to Greece now. So you promise not to oppose me Tamara, for homecoming queen? I believe I am the incumbent you know' Noah directed at Tammy.

'I promise. I will be your campaign manager.' Tammy laughed. I think a friendship had started.

Mrs. Siles, the dorm monitor poked her head in with 10 minutes of curfew time to go.

'Girls, no males in the dorm rooms with the door shut after 9pm…oh Noah, its you' There was an unspoken rule amongst dorm monitors and staff that Noah was to be considered a girl, and could sometimes stay over in a girls' room. He had even tried to move to our dorm block, but the Dean claimed it was 'healthier' to have him with the boys. I don't know about healthier, as Noah got to ogle boys in the showers.

'Don't worry Mrs. Silar, I am going now. Ta ta girls- see you in the morning' he kissed my forehead and squeezed my hand as he left with Tammy. I could see Ken standing at the end of the hall and I waved to him. He grinned, nodded once and left. I never had to worry about anything if Ken was around.

As I lay in bed, I wondered where Portman got to after Noah's outburst. I had a feeling Fulton would have gone to find him not long after we left the table. Despite all that had happened, I still loved him. You couldn't just erase that feeling over one incident. 

'Or could you?' I murmured as I drifted off to sleep.

We had been training over the summer, and the Ducks had come back early to train the week before school started. Kind of like an after summer hockey camp thing. This meant that Coach Orion had allowed us the first day for school to be training-free. Thank god.

I woke up to my alarm playing 'Smile' by Lily Allen. I slammed the snooze button repeatedly, but it wouldn't go off. Desperately, I threw it against the wall.

'First day Jules. I am impressed. I thought it would be at least a week before you would have to buy a new one.' Connie was up, showered and changed. I noticed that she had changed the outfit that Noah had picked out slightly.

'Morning Connie. Noah will kill you'

'Yeah I know. But I just remembered that I had this top and Noah didn't see it last night. He needs to totally get over himself'

I shook my head as I showered, changed and left the dorm, knocking on Tammy's door to get her for breakfast. She was annoyingly perky for a first day at a new school.

'Why are you so cheery?' I grumbled as we stood in line for waffles.

'Cause I didn't have training, I got enough sleep, I get waffles, I have a new school where I already have friends and a sexy boyfriend. Why are you so grumpy?'

'She tossed and turned all night, thinking about the 'situation'' Connie looked sympathetically at me.

'How do you know?' I asked grumpily, holding out my plate for bacon.

'Because when I got up, you mumbled 'Portman, compass, stabbing, heartbroken and cheese' all in the one breath' she grinned. 'Although I am wondering about the cheese'

I threw her a look and sat down at an empty table. I could see the rest of the Ducks filing in and sitting at random tables. The exodus and breakup had begun.

'Morning ladies. And don't we look fine this lovely day?' Russ sat down with a gigantic plate of food.

'I second that, big black man with scary head and tattoos' Noah sat down and stuck his hand out to Russ. 'I'm Noah Simmons'

'The gay boy?'

'I see my reputation has preceded me' Noah grinned.

'Nice to meet you man'

What followed was a weird, manly, homeboy type shake. Noah looked horrified.

'You are not going to pull a gun on me are you?' Russ just laughed as Fulton and Kenny sat down.

'Where's Portman?' I asked Fulton quietly. He kissed Tammy on the cheek before glancing at me.

'He's on his way. He's a bit cut up Jules. He wants to make things right'

I glanced at my waffles. It was the first day of school and I was feeling guilty for…what? I had no idea. Maybe for spilling my guts and telling Portman that I loved him. Maybe for having sex with him on a lawn. I didn't know whether I wanted to hear his bullshit- on the other hand I did. He might tell me he made a mistake and declare his love for me again. I hated being indecisive. It wasn't me at all.

'Morning all' Charlie sat down with a broad grin.

'What is with everyone today? They are so cheery' Noah echoed my unspoken thoughts.

'I think it has to do with being all back together or something. By the way Noah, I changed the outfit up a bit- hope you don't mind?'

Noah looked her over and nodded his approval. His eyes lit up as a dark haired boy with a lip piercing went past out table.

'And who is that fine specimen of man?'

'He's a transfer from New York. Kale Jones. He's my room mate for the next year' Russ grimaced as he tasted his eggs 'What is this shit?'

'Powdered eggs dude. You think we have chickens here?'

'It's disgusting. Someone should be shot'

'Oh goody. Gang violence already and school hasn't even started' Noah remarked dryly.

'Hi' Portman had reached the table and put down his plate. Next to Noah. I started to hyperventilate silently.

'Good morning Portman. How did you sleep?' said Noah sweetly. Like sugar was coating his tongue.

'Fine' He glanced at me with his eyebrows raised. 'Jules, how are you?'

'Fine' I could see the rest of the table looking at me. I dug into my waffles and began to eat. The rest of them followed in silence, although I could feel Portman's eyes on me the entire time.

First day of school. First assembly. After the fiasco that was freshman year, when the Minnesota ducks stormed the stage in their rollerblades, they mace sure that all doors were locked by a certain time, with a guard standing at each. Waste of time really. Plus, it was pretty amusing to see Connie tangled in the curtain.

I was next to Noah and the new boy Kale. Noah was right- he was good looking. He had thick dark hair that hung over his right eye, a lip piercing and bright green eyes. He was dressed simply in a white shirt and blue jeans but they were tailored to fit his body. Something screamed to me that he was extremely wealthy. I wondered if he was as pretentious as some of the people at this school.

'Hi I'm Noah. Noah Simmons. This is Julie. And you are..?'

'Kale Jones. Nice to meet you both' he shook Noah's hand and winked at me with a little grin. Whoa. This guy was hot.

We turned back to see the Dean take the stage. I don't know who dressed him in the mornings, but plaid and brown corduroy do not go together with a polka dotted bow tie. I could see Noah pretending to gag, although I was pretty sure he wasn't pretending.

'Good morning students! Welcome back to another glorious year at Eden Hall Academy. No doubt, you will find yourself overcome with greatness, at a school that prides itself on the determination, studiousness, athletic capability and prowess and above all friendships that will last you to your dying days!'

'Who writes this shit?' Kale muttered.

'He does' Noah and I chorused in unison.

'Well he's a moron. God, I wish I could get out of here' Kale sighed, looking around for the exit. Noah swooned and I laughed softly, attracting the attention of Fulton and Portman who were sitting in front of me. Fulton turned around and looked at me quizzically. Portman turned around and narrowed his eyes at Kale.

'And we cannot forget, the 3 time national champions, these students are the best at what they do, the Eden Hall Ducks cheerleaders! And our own Varsity ice hockey team, who have also won 3 national championships in a row'. The Dean definitely affirmed to the whole school of the importance of the ice hockey team over the cheerleaders.

Suddenly, there was a commotion at the side of the room and I watched three people ran through the auditorium with masks on their faces. Naked. Oh dear Lord. The Ducks beanie was a dead giveaway for Charlie. The others, I deduced, were Luis and Russ, purely on the size of their…bodies. They had Ducks jerseys covering the other parts that were not suitable for PG viewing.

'Man, pay up. I told you he would do it.' Reluctantly, Fulton handed over a twenty to Noah, who was gloating.

'You knew about this?'

'Jules, what is one thing that Charlie never does?'

I groaned. 'Back out from a dare'

'The boy is just too easy- and Luis was just a bonus'. He grinned wickedly at me. I could see the grins on most of the student population as the three men left the room. Well, if the ladies didn't know Russ Tyler, they sure did now.


	5. Oh well

**Thank you for the lovely reviews as always. Its great that people are actually reading this story, let alone love it. Ok, this chapter has some of my favourite bits in it, but the first bit is kind of weird. But it makes sense in my head for some strange reason.**

**Galindapopular- mine are Alexandra and Samantha. I love gays too- there should be more in the world. I am starting to wish Noah was real, I need that acerbic wit to keep me calm.**

**ElyseBlack- You can't have Kale just yet. I have big things planned for him, some of which may surprise you… but you have him on layby (lay-away?) I promise.**

**Footychick- at your request, another chapter. I am slowly running out of them but my brain is trying!**

**Pitaqueen- Kale will shake things up a bit- I love Jules/Portman too much- having said that, the stories I have been reading lately puts them apart for periods of time which I love…so I might not keep them together…**

**Disclaimer- Emilio called, he's got Josh Jackson on the case. But he's up the creek trying to save Katie Holmes from the evil dwarf (apologies if you are a Tom fan- or a dwarf fan) so until he comes back with the DNA and baby Suri, then Disney and Uncle Steven own the rights**

After the excitement of the assembly ('I will be giving out rewards to those students who can identify the culprits of this shameless display of public nudity'), the rest of the day flew by. I had a lot of classes with the Ducks, especially Kenny, who ended up in every single one of my classes bar French. Goldberg was appointed TA on the first day by the Home Economics teacher, which was exciting for him (and us, we were guaranteed a pass in that class) and Noah was in my drama class. Portman was in my drama and biology classes and because Mr. Rogers is a sadist and a major hockey fan, he put as lab partners for the rest of the year. Joy.

My last class of the day was advanced French, funnily enough with Charlie. Apparently, he decided that when he got picked up by a minor league team, it could be a Quebecois team or something and believed it was an advantage to speak the language. I was impressed with his foresight. Unfortunately, he didn't speak it that well but he counted on me to get him through.

'Julie!' I turned to see Adam flying down the corridor towards me as Charlie and I left French class.

'Whoa Cake-eater what's the hurry?' Charlie laughed as Adam literally skidded across the floor.

'You up for a run this afternoon? I need to get some fitness up and you probably need to get some aggression out?' Adam stared at me hard. I noticed he had practically ignored Charlie.

'Sure. Let me just grab my stuff. See ya at dinner Charlie' I waved over my shoulder as I headed to the girls' dorms.

Adam wasn't the type of person to single me out for anything. Sure, we got along well and there was the whole stigma that 'Adam and Julie will end up together' thing that people believed (especially Adam's parents) but I never felt any kind of overt affection towards me at any stage. Except during the Goodwill Games but I believed he stood up to Portman because he had a thing for him and wanted to be dominated. But that's just me.

As I pulled my hair into a high ponytail there was a knock at the door. I sighed, throwing my school clothes into the clothes basket. Adam was always so punctual, it was annoying.

'For once, can't you be late?' I said, as I threw open the door to Portman. 'Oh hi'

'Hi' he looked uncomfortable.

'I'm on my way out so…' My eyes widened in surprise as he pulled a small blonde girl in front of him.

'This is Ashley Hemmings, Leslie's sister. She needs to tell you something'

I could see Adam come up behind Portman and cock his head to the side in confusion. I suddenly realized that he didn't know what had been going on. I sometimes forgot that the Ducks were not all as close anymore, and people were bound to miss something.

'Well, if she needs to tell her something, she better tell her now' Tammy snapped, as she elbowed Portman aside and stood next to me, arms folded.

'This is between Julie and I'

'Yeah and some skanky little slut..oh wait that's your sister' Tammy smiled evilly at Ashley. 'You better hurry up cause Julie has a date with Adam'

'It's a run, but she's right. Hurry it up Portman, I haven't got all day. Tammy stays, she might need to restrain me.'

'Julie, I always liked you' Ashley spoke up and looked me in the eye. God, she was tiny. I felt like a monstrous mountain next to her.

'Ok, that's sweet, but get to the point'

'My sister didn't sleep with Dean..'

'Portman'

'Ok, Portman. She didn't have sex with him'

'And how would you know? Where you there? Are you some kind of voyeur sicko?' Tammy glared at her. I shushed her.

'Because she is a virgin. We both are…'

'Too much info there, didn't need to know about you…' Connie had come up behind Adam, along with Charlie. Great, it was a free-for-all.

'Ok sorry, but we made a promise to our parents that we were to stay virgins until our 18th birthdays. While Leslie is only 3 months off, she stands to lose $50,000. And sorry, but she loves money more than anything in the world'

'How do we know whether to believe you? Maybe she has been having sex since she was young and no one know' I was surprised to hear the venom in my voice as I addressed Ashley.

'Because…its complicated. She signed a form. We have to have a gyno appointment once we turn 18 and basically that is how they find out whether we have cheated or not' Ashley sighed, as she looked up at Portman. 'I don't mind doing this for Portman, cause he obviously cares about you, but I don't need everyone telling people about what happens in our family. I just thought you should be aware of what happened- or didn't happen in the bathroom. Plus, Leslie told me he talked about you while they were in there.'

'That is some weird sick perverted family you have there Hemmings. God, I think I am going to be sick' Connie marched past Ashley and Portman, elbowing them out of the way to go into our dorm.

'Thanks Ashley. I appreciate the honesty' Tammy gaped at me as I continued. 'However, I did see them kissing and that is only one of the reasons why I am upset with Portman. So whether he slept with her or not, it doesn't matter. Things were already ruined between the two of us' I grabbed my water bottle and moved past them to Adam, giving Tammy's arm a little squeeze on the way.

'Julie...'

'Save it Portman. But kudos for trying' I grabbed Adam who was staring open-mouthed at the scene in front of him and left the building. Behind me, I could hear Tammy and Connie yelling at Portman.

As we jogged around the sports field, I could see Adam throwing little glances my way. I knew he was dying to talk about something, whether it be about himself, or about the scene that unfolded in the dorm.

'Adam, is everything ok?' I asked him casually as we picked up the pace.

He nodded, speeding up. We started running flat out through the trees and acreage of the Eden Hall campus before we came to the clearing near the boatshed, where the rowing team held their equipment. Panting, we sat down.

'I have to tell you something' Adam's blue eyes were filled with fear.

'Ok. It's not a declaration of love is it?' Adam nodded. God this was all I needed.

'Adam, I'm flattered, but I don't really need this right now. Not to say you aren't a great guy but...'

'Jules, it's not you'

'Well that's embarrassing' I stated, as he started laughing at me. 'Don't laugh, I just assumed…'

'Never assume Jules, it gets you into all sorts of trouble. No it's someone else'

'Who? You can tell me Adam, I promise not to tell anybody'

'Well its no…'

I screamed. I KNEW he was gay.

'Noah? Oh Adam, I'm so glad you told me. I mean, I am the one who was friends with Noah first, and the whole gay stigma that we had to get the Ducks through, well I'm sure they will be fine with you, I mean you're family…'

'Julie...'

'This is great, I have to collect from Ken now…I mean not that we were betting on the outcome of your sexuality or anything but we just had a guessing game…'

'Julie…'

'I'm happy to split the money with you if you want. Oh Adam, this is great. Noah thinks you're a bit of a nerdy obsessed hockey player, but he'll come around..'

'JULIE I'M NOT GAY'. Oops.

'You're not?' Damn, did I look crestfallen? Is it wrong to be upset with someone for NOT being gay?

'No. I'm not. Although, I guess I'm flattered that you have thought so highly of my sexuality to make it in to a bet' he grinned.

'Kill me, kill me now' I muttered, burying my face in my hands.

'It's Connie, Julie. I'm in love with Connie' What? His best friend's girlfriend? His best friend's soul mate? Was the boy a complete moron?

'Ummm…ok, this is bad. Your best friend's girlfriend? The one he has loved ever since they were born or some complete crap like that?' I was incredulous.

'Yep. I can't help it' He looked miserable.

'Well you need to suck it up. Get over it. This can't happen Adam. She's in love with Charlie. Always has been, although there was the whole Connie-Guy stigma that we now know is complete bullshit but anyway…'

'I know Julie. I even thought about getting a new dorm, or swapping with Russ. But I needed to tell someone about it before I burst. Charlie is my best friend and a great room-mate but I have to watch him and Connie every single day. It's killing me.' He got up and stretched his legs.

'Ok Adam, we need to find you a girl. I'm not saying that you have to forget about Connie cause you don't. But we need to….diversify your attention to someone else. What about that little blonde girl back there? She was pretty…' I was grasping at straws and I knew it. My brain wasn't computing this information very well. I felt bad but I didn't know what to do. Adam loved Connie?

'It's ok Jules' He pulled me up and into a hug. 'I just needed to tell someone. I feel so much better' he grinned and began to jog off. I ran after him, a headache forming in my temples. I couldn't believe it was only the first day.

'Adam, wait' he stopped and waited for me. 'You feel better now? Just because you told someone?'

'Yep. And now its great cause I can talk to you and moan to you about it and its all a bounce off effect' he was grinning. The boy was clearly deranged.

'Adam, I live with Connie. She is one of my best friends. I love Charlie like a brother, which, funnily enough, I thought you did too. They are completely meant to be. I'm going on with shit in my own life right now, and can't be your sounding board. I'm sorry but you need to find someone else. Try Noah. Try GUY, I don't know, but you can't use me' I stood with my arms folded across my chest. He looked upset but nodded. Wow, I was such a bitch.

'You're right. I'm sorry. But it is good to tell someone. Don't worry Jules, I won't bother you again with it all.' With that, he took off. Oh dear god. I followed, trying to keep up with him but he had sped away. I felt like the world's biggest bitch.

Next day was practice. At 4.30 in the morning. I was in hell.

'Connie, this should be illegal. What type of place does this to their students?' I groaned as I slipped on my trainers. I had packed my hockey bag the night before, and the rest of my gear was in my permanent locker. It was a privilege to be a goalie sometimes.

'Ones that want to continue with the State Championship title. And ones that are sadistic and creepy' she shuddered, thinking of Coach Wilson.

After Freshman year, and the almighty event known as the JV- Varsity showdown, we dominated the Varsity team. Rick Riley and his crew tried to save face by making our lives miserable off the ice, but the combination of Orion, Adam and Bombay (who managed to type up training reports in his off-time) were too strong for them on the ice. It got to the stage where Orion tried to petition the board to replace them with us, relegating them to JV. It didn't work. So we waited until Rick Riley and the senior guys left the team, winning JV titles in Freshman and Sophomore years. In Junior year, with Jesse back, we dominated the JV-Varsity showdown and forced them to completely re-do the teams. We all made varsity along with a couple of the better original varsity guys, who weren't so bad. Confused? Yes I was too. All I know is that we got out of it Coach Wilson- Orion had to make him co-coach and he was a nightmare. He didn't like Connie and I on the team, but did like to peer down our shirts whenever he got a chance.

'Oh yes, Creepy Coach. I'm wearing an extra layer of underwear this year,' I grinned, picking up my bag. 'Or maybe I will just flash him when I get the chance and see what he does- if he touches me, I'll scream sexual misconduct'

'Ewww. You would let him touch you? That's gross' Connie laughed softly as we walked out the door, tapping on Tammy's door as we passed. We heard a mumbling 'I'm awake, I'm awake' from inside. She had to be at training at 5.

When we reached the rink, it was all lit up. I could smell the ice and the fresh glint from where the Zamboni had been. This was the best part of hockey- just knowing that the ice was there, waiting for you.

'Morning ladies and welcome to another 4.45am training session. I am your host, Lester Averman and I will be escorting you to the locker room,' Averman slipped his arms through ours and walked us to the changeroom door. We giggled as he recounted waking up this morning to Goldberg standing over his bed muttering 'I need two sticks of butter STAT! Come on, we're losing him'.

'That's weird Goldberg'

'What is?' Unaware of the sleepwalking problem he possessed, he strutted in, doughnut in one hand.

I shook my head. As a defenseman he was great. As a shining example of the 5 food groups, he definitely wasn't.

Training was brutal. Orion hated the fact he gave us the first day off and was punishing us. Wilson skated around, blowing his whistle in our ears, yelling obscenities and giving Connie and I smarmy grins when we couldn't keep up. Did the guy understand Connie is practically a dwarf and I'm not exactly fast with 15 kilos of pads on? Moron. When Tammy came in to practice on the smaller rink, he couldn't keep his eyes off her.

'Hey Fult, I would watch out for your girlfriend' Portman clapped him on the back.

'Is he staring at her again?' Fulton sighed, throwing Orion a look and pointing at Wilson.

'Watch this'

Suddenly, Luis was flying towards Wilson, who was too busy watching Tammy twirl. Luis put on the brakes and a whole wall of shaved ice flew at Wilson, who couldn't keep himself upright and landed on his arse on the ice. I could see his face turning red, and knew that Luis was going to get a blasting.

'Sorry about that Coach' Luis gave an apologetic grin, trying to contain himself. 'But that Tammy, wow she is amazing. I wasn't watching where I was going.'

Wilson grunted and lifted himself up. Connie was leaning on Charlie in hysterics. I glanced at Portman who was watching me, a funny grin on his face. I raised my eyebrows at him and moved towards the bench as Orion blew the whistle.

Being kept awake by my thoughts of Portman had left me with ample time to think. The revelation that he didn't sleep with Leslie Hemmings, thanks to the too-much-information by her sister, had not really affected my thinking. He was the one who had walked away and gone straight for 'safe' girl- one that apparently didn't exist in all aspects of his life. While I could understand it, I also didn't like it, and hated being used.

'Jules, we need to talk' Portman whispered to me over Orion's speech about discipline and hard work. I had tuned out when he started talking- we got the same lecture every single year.

'Do we now?' I replied.

'Julie, are you listening?' Coach Orion glared at me.

'Of course Coach. We must be on our games at all times if we want to be the best. Winning is everything, blah blah blah' Oops. Did I really say blah blah blah? As I looked around at my giggling teammates, I realized that I had. Must have been affected by all this thinking.

Orion laughed. He LAUGHED?

'Ok I get the point Julie. All of you, good practice. Go and clean up. Remember the rule, Bs or nothing. Understand?'

'Yes Coach' we chorused. I sighed in relief.

'Oh and Julie? 10 laps for being rude' Coach Orion called sweetly.

Damn it.


	6. Not about love

**Apologies for the non-updates! I had my exams for uni- safe to say I passed all three subjects. Have no idea why I decided to get my Masters, but it's another piece of useless paper to add.**

**Anyway, thanks to my reviewers!**

**Galindapopular- BTW love the new story, will put up a more updated review on it soon. I have the exact same thoughts on Suri and Matilda- I believe they will all end up back in Capeside one day. Also, the Adam/ Connie thing- that actually wasn't supposed to happen. It was a thing that my brain dreamed up and I have no idea what to do with it! But I will find a way somehow…**

**Elyse Black- I wasn't even sure that Quebecois was a word! But spellcheck didn't pick it up so I was happy. Adam might turn gay after all, you never know… I'm from Australia, which might give away some of the spelling and grammar in my story. I'm basing it on my own thoughts of what school in America is like- so I'm going to beg creative license on it!**

**Disclaimer- Josh called, something about Diane Kruger taking up all his time…I'm not sure, it was a bad line. But he gave the news that Katie is coming out of her drug-induced brainwash and she has grabbed Ricki Lake to help collect the DNA. Until Uncle Steven appears on the show 'My Uncle is a famous Movie producer and needs to sign over the Mighty Ducks franchise to me' Disney and Uncle Steven own the rights**

Once I finished my laps, I was the only one left in the rink. Tammy and Connie had waited, but I had told them I would catch up at breakfast. Blow drying my hair, I realized that there was someone else in the locker room. I just couldn't see them.

'Coach Wilson?' I called, bracing myself for a grope.

Portman laughed softly. 'Is that who you want it to be?'

'No, of course not. But it's better than you' I grinned slightly, turning off the hairdryer.

'We need to talk'

'No shit Sherlock'

'I'm sorry'

'So you should be'

'Julie,' he sighed, slumping down on the bench. 'I am an arsehole. I was way too scared of what was going to happen to us. I mean we are so great together. But you take me completely and that type of commitment scares me. All I want to do is be with you.'

'Yet you are scared and run away and sleep with other girls'

'I didn't sleep with Leslie…'

'No you may not have this time. But you have before. And when is it going to stop? We get together, have sex or whatever, it is great, then you back off cause you are scared. Well damn you Dean, I'm scared too. You are not the only one who had these feelings. But I can't keep declaring my love for you and then watch you use it against me' I slammed down my hairbrush.

'We can be friends Dean. That's it. We can hug like I do with Kenny and the boys, we can't kiss, pat, have sex, do anything that will lead to sex. I do love you but this can't go on. I can't keep feeling like my heart has been ripped out' I stared into his eyes.

'Ok' he replied quietly, 'Friends. I can deal with that for the moment. But Julie, I do love you. I am just too scared to be this committed. But I love you so much it hurts'

'Then stop killing me with what you are doing. We'll be friends- best friends even, although I doubt Fult and Kenny will let you take that from them. We have done it before, but you need to stop getting jealous every time I speak to a guy, or because you feel lonely'

'Friends' He smiled one of the brightest smiles I have ever seen and enveloped me in a tight hug. It was only after I had left the arena, walking with Portman beside me, that I realized that the drips on my head were not from the ice. They were Portman's tears.

'So he's a big cry baby then' Noah smirked as he stole a French fry off my plate. I was sitting at Mickey's with Noah, Kale and Kenny later that week. Kale had become something of an honorary Duck, considering he roomed with Russ. He was also freakishly good at statistics, and Orion had gotten him to be our stats man.

'I don't think he's a cry baby. I can understand why he would be upset. Especially over the gorgeous Jules' I blushed as Kale winked at me. God, this guy was smooth. And hot. So very hot.

'Jules, stop getting all hot and bothered over that comment' Noah raised his eyebrows at me as I spluttered diet Pepsi all over the table. Yes, I am one classy girl.

'Leave her alone Noah. She's been through a traumatic experience. Seen Adam lately?' Kenny asked me quietly as Kale and Noah started arguing over who was hotter- Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie. I mean, like you couldn't guess who Noah was after.

I groaned. Adam had decided that he was going to bother me with the Charlie/Connie/ Adam love triangle thingy and was hounding me every day about it. In desperation, I had told Adam to speak to Kenny, and now he tried to get the two of us on his side, now that we both knew.

'Annoying isn't it?'

'You sure he's not after Charlie?' Kenny pondered. I had wondered the same thing myself.

'No he told me he wasn't gay' I replied, stealing an onion ring off Kale's plate. We had forgone the slops at the dining hall and were now eating greasy yumminess.

'Who is not gay? I certainly am' he stood up proudly, waving his arms above his head like he was Rocky.

'Yes we know that Priscilla. No, Adam's not gay' I felt like that was enough to tell him. His face fell.

'Damn I owe Fulton 40 bucks, I was sure he was a raging hommer' Kale laughed at Noah's lovely choice of words.

'Nice. I made a fool of myself thinking he was after you'

'Me?!' Noah looked incredulous. 'What would he want with me- besides the obvious. He is such a hockey nerd- and I don't know anything about hockey except when Fult and Porty hit some one, I lead the cheers'

'Porty?' Kale was doubled over and Ken looked like he was crying.

'Yeah, I think its better than "the guy who broke Jules' heart now he has to suffer in incredible pain cause she now told him they can only be friends". Porty is so much easier' I rolled my eyes at him.

It had been a pretty good week since Portman (otherwise known as Porty apparently) and I spoke. We were getting along really well- it was almost back to how it used to be with the 4 of us. Except for the fact that my heart tugged everytime he smiled at me. Yeah, that wasn't cool.

'So, there is a reason why I brought you three here' Noah smiled mysteriously. I groaned.

'Let me guess- you're running for class president or social committee director or a dictatorship or something?'

Noah looked at me in amazement.

'Julie Gaffney, I'll have you know that one day, I will be the greatest dictator the world has ever seen. However, in the meantime, I am running for student council president'

'Is that a good thing?' Kale asked, chewing on his straw. His previous school was a 'creative learning educational facility' which meant they didn't quite believe in peer leaders. Im not even sure they believed in teachers, but Kale was pretty smart so they must have done something right.

'It's a great thing, Kale my boy, you will love it. I have also decided that you 3 will be on my campaign team.' He smiled serenely. Two girls in the booth behind us thought he was smiling at them and giggled, throwing him looks under their eyelashes. Ken laughed.

'What about the campaign manager?'

'Done and done. I need to get Miss Duncan on my side for homecoming campaign duty and to see what she is made of, so she is trying out on Monday. Meanwhile, I have printed out these sheets for grading her' he reached into his backpack and pulled out some paper and handing us each a sheet.

'You want US to grade Tammy?' Kale asked in bewilderment.

'Yes. Its quite simple. You just tick the boxes if you think she is doing a good job, and give her a total score out of 10. Majority will rule' he smiled smugly.

'You are an idiot. What makes you think that Tams will go for this? Its ridiculous. You have just said you have picked her- now you want to see if she's worthy?' Ken looked astonished. Noah looked upset.

'I just want to have the best campaign. We know that stupid April is going for it, and she might have the edge over me, although we do have the split vote of the cheerleaders. And what about those smart people in the chess club, or the science club. And that ridiculious Linda whats-her-face. She will go for it for sure. I just want to win!' he was getting all riled up over this.

'Noah, its ok. Put it this way- you have half the cheerleaders, the hockey team, all the closeted gay and lesbians, the drama club, the soccer team, the JV hockey team if they are allowed to vote and Im sure that I could get all the minority groups to vote for you. You're kind of like the anti-christ to those people and they love it' I could see Noah calming down.

'Are you sure? I mean, are you sure Tammy doesn't need grading?' I snorted

'No!' We all chorused. He sighed, reluctantly agreeing to keep Tammy on as campaign manager. Sometimes I wondered whether Noah was for real or not. So overdramatic, even for me.

Then the girls from the table behind us came over to talk to the boys. Most specifically Noah. They threw their blonde hair over their shoulders as they giggled through the introductions.

'I'm Brianna'

'I'm Rachel'

'I'm Noah and I am queer.' Oh dear god.

'Hi Noah. Its SO nice to meet you. Are you from Eden Hall or just new to town?' The first one giggled at her friend. They looked like sophomores.

'I'm from Eden Hall. But honey, I like boys. B-O-Y' Noah threw his hands up in the air. Ken was rolling on the floor and Kale looked on in horror.

'So what are you doing tomorrow? We are going to this party- maybe you and your friends want to come?' Now the Brianna girl had moved closer to Noah, putting her hand on his arm. Rachel was staring at Kale, who was alternatively smiling at her strangely while shooting me help looks. Ken was still rolling on the floor in laughter, while customers stepped over him. They were kind of used to the Ducks.

'No honey, remove your hand from my arm. I like boys. I am a raging homosexual. I like to…stand up Kale' He moved behind Kale and simulated anal sex. I closed my eyes as I struggled to contain my laughter. When I opened them, Brianna was looking at me questioningly.

'He has sex with men' I supplied, giving into my fit of laughter. I plopped on the floor, and Ken and I were holding each other, giggling. The two girls looked mortified and stormed off. Kale was shaking his head and Noah was raising his arms like Rocky. We were like that when Portman strolled in.

'Hi Porty. Missed a good show' Noah grinned.

'Have anything to do with those two chicks out there who are complaining about the hot guy who has sex with men?'

'Something like that'

'So what's happening guys, besides the obvious? Charlie was hungry and made me come down here to get food.'

'What are you, his bitch now?' Ken asked, getting up off the floor. He reached out a hand and pulled me up bumping me slightly into Portman. Tactful, Kenneth.

'Nah I needed the walk. I think Charlie was pissed cause he wanted to see his mommy..'

'A mommy who is supplying you with food Dean, and don't you forget it' Casey Conway stood at our table, her arms filled with large containers. Both Portman and I reached up to help her.

'Thank you Mommy'

'That's better' she said, patting him on the head playfully. Casey Conway had married Gordon Bombay in Junior year, making Charlie the happiest little Duck on earth. They had bought Mickey's and Casey ran it. She had just come back after the birth of Charlie's little brother Cooper, who was 8 months old and the cutest little thing ever. Connie and I took turns babysitting with Charlie, as he had no idea what to do with a child of that age. He kept dressing him up in a Ducks jersey, feeding him pizza and wanting to go skating with him in his arms. While we loved Charlie, his nickname wasn't Spazway for nothing, and we didn't want him cracking Coop's head open.

'Hey Jules, you want to baby-sit next Saturday? Gordon is taking Charlie, Connie and I to dinner.'

'Can I come too?' Ken asked shyly. He wasn't used to having kids around him, as he was an only child. .

'Of course you can. In fact, why don't Dean and Fulton go too? I know you four spend a lot of time together and as long as Jules is there, I trust you' her voice held a warning note to the boys.

'Cool' Portman replied grinning. Oh boy, this was going to be fun.


	7. The first taste

**Hi all! Apologies for the delay in updating. I am moving states in the next couple of days so the next chapter may be a few weeks late as well.**

**Shout out to all my reviewers- Footychick (sorry I took so long), Torithy (thank you so much- I love Caitlin in Road tripping), Elyse Black (thank you for saying it cheers you up, I was hoping to do that), sphinx005 (I love those stories! Noah wasn't based on Dylan but that's how it has come out. I always though Dylan had very gay undertones though) and InvisibleOrphan (welcome to the reviews, I'm so glad you and your friend like it). Thanks also to all the readers of this story- I'm writing for you.**

**Disclaimer- Ricki Lake kicked me off her show, something about stalking her to get to Uncle Steven. I am not sure. But Rosie O'Donnell is starting a new panel show and has invited Emilio on. She says it's a cinch to get Steven to admit his uncle-parentage and will get back to me. Until she does, Disney and Uncle Steven own the rights.**

We left the diner along with Portman, two pizzas, a box of sandwiches, some fries and a huge box of brownies. Casey had come to the school once for a meeting, and was completely horrified at the food. She liked to give us each something extra when we went in, and hardly let us pay. Since some of the ducks were out of town, she was like our surrogate mother.

'Thank god you guys are back! I'm starving' Connie reached out and reefed the box of brownies from my arms as soon as we had gotten back to my dorm. In a second, Tammy and her were digging in, with one in each hand.

'Jules, PMS ok?' Connie snapped, stuffing brownies in her face. I must have looked horrified.

'Right, well thanks for that piece of info Connie' Jesse stole a brownie out of the box. Ken went to follow, but Connie's evil eye stopped him cold.

'Connie, it's nice to share' 

'Like hell' she retorted, grabbing another brownie. Tammy followed suit. Kale grabbed the box away from them.

'Step back ladies. Those brownies are no good on the hips' Noah said to them sternly.

Tammy screamed. We all looked at her in shock and concern.

'I have a goddamn meet this weekend. And I am eating chocolate! What kind of person am I?' she wailed, trying to scrape brownie off her tongue.

'Umm a hungry one?' Kale supplied. 'A PMS one?'

'Watch it boy. I am not beneath biting someone on the kneecap someone, especially as I don't come much past their kneecaps' Tammy retorted grinning, as Connie shot him a death look.

'Where's Charlie? Don't tell me I got all this food for nothing?' Portman whined. 'Although running into these guys was a bonus' Noah rolled his eyes at me.

'Of course it was, Porty' Noah said dryly as Connie choked a piece of brownie.

'Porty?! That is awesome. Porty' she collapsed in laughter, crumbs spraying everywhere.

'Connie, step away from the brownies' Charlie came into the room followed by a morose looking Adam.

I glanced at Ken, who rolled his eyes back at me. While I felt quite sorry for Adam and his problems, it was really beyond our control. Connie and Charlie were completely in love and probably always had been. Adam had never made an attempt with Connie before so we couldn't understand why, when his best friend suddenly was happy, he decided to like the same girl. And then had to mope about it cause he was unhappy.

'Cheer up Banks, you look like your best friend just stole a girl off you' Noah remarked casually. I choked, probably on my own saliva. Ken's eyes went wide and Adam looked at both of us accusingly. Connie looked puzzled for a second, then laughed.

'Don't be silly guys. If Charlie ever cheated on me…'

'You would cut his balls off with a rusty skate blade and feed them to the fishes' Portman, Ken and I said in unison.

'No, I would feed him to the fishes. I would keep the testicles as a reminder of how he wronged me' Connie replied smugly and somewhat scarily. Charlie backed away from his girlfriend, hands over his crotch.

'Ok get out of our room. Now. Wait, leave the brownies. Tam, Noah, Julie stay. I have gossip..' Connie sang.

The boys looked at each other. Connie was known for her psycho PMS moods and this seemed to be one of them. Portman and Fulton had settled in for the long haul on the beanbags and Kale had bagged the armchair. When Connie gave them the evil eye, they shot up, grabbing the boxes of food.

'We are going, we're going, jeez' Fulton said hurriedly, trying to kiss his girlfriend on the cheek. Tammy laughed at him as Connie stood up threateningly.

'Bye baby, I love you' Charlie told his girlfriend sweetly, kissing her on the forehead.

'Don't patronize me Conway' she remarked harshly. I exchanged glances with Ken and Portman, ushering them out the door.

'She's one scary girl' Kale remarked as the door shut behind the boys.

'Excuse me, are you not going to?' Connie turned her evil glare on him.

'Nah. I want to hear the goss.' Kale said casually, grabbing a brownie. Casey must have packed a shitload of them, there was more coming out of that box than from Mary Poppins' bag.

Connie sighed dramatically.

'Ok then Kale, be one of the girls then. Are you gay by the way?' she asked caustically.

'Bi' he replied grinning. Noah and I looked at him in shock.

'So I have a chance there partner?' Noah asked, eyes wide.

'Nah I'm more into sporty guys. Like Adam.'

Tammy had gone bright red from holding in her laughter. I was just completely shocked.

'Are you serious?' I asked, twirling my hair. 'Adam?'

'Well he's clearly gay, no matter what he says,' Kale remarked, stretching out his very long legs on the carpet. 'But no Jules, I'm not into Adam. I'm very into you though'

I gulped, very theatrically. Noah grinned and Connie smiled.

'So does that mean you want to hook up with Jules?' she asked him.

'Yeah of course I do. Do you not know what people say about this girl?' he replied, giving my hand a squeeze. I was so hot and bothered, I thought I was going to keel over and die. Kale wanted to hook up with me? Part of me was ecstatic, the other part yearned for Portman's familiarity.

'Actually, that is some of the goss I have' Connie squealed, jumping on the beanbag. Tammy winced, holding her hands delicately to her ears. I loved that she was not into the girly squeal for no reason like me.

'So the word is that two of the Ducks think Julie is fine, besides Portman, and a number of football boys have expressed interest in the, and I uote 'the hockey player with the blonde hair that got hot overnight'. I mean Jules, you're an enigma!'

Two ducks? I thought I was going to be sick.

'Hmm two ducks, besides Portman. Well Kale is officially a Duck now, does he count?' Noah asked

'Yeah actually he does. But Jesse has mentioned how amazing you are and Russ thinks you are a hottie' Connie said smugly. I now could understand why Charlie kept using the family analogy. They were like my brothers.

'I think they are great guys but…I don't know'

'Once you go black, you never go back hey Jules?' Noah teased me, seeing the shock on my face. I swatted him with a brownie.

'They don't want to hook up with you Jules' Tammy spoke up. 'But they have mentioned that Portman has treated you like crap and that you didn't deserve that as you are totally a babe. They were just looking out for you. Stop spreading rumours Constance' Connie grinned sheepishly.

'So it's really only Kale who wants to hook up with Julie. Wait, when you said bi, do you mean you hook up with dudes too?' She asked, throwing Noah a look.

'I was kidding Connie.' Kale sighed.

'What's the rest of the goss Connie?' Tammy asked. I thanked her silently with my inflamed red face.

'Well it's about Guy. Apparently he got caught with his pants down- literally- having sex with his best friends' sister. Worst, or best part, depending on who is telling the story- herpes abounded' she laughed. I gasped, shocked.

'Hasn't she heard of protection?' Kale wondered. I noticed that we were still hand in hand. It didn't feel like Portman. It felt…nice.

'Guy's skanky. Anyway, let's eat' Connie said brightly, reaching for another brownie. I had no idea how many she had consumed but I knew I was probably going to be holding her head over the toilet all night.

Noah and Tammy left about 5 minutes after, giggling, their two blonde heads in conspiratorial whispers. I felt a little pang of jealousy- Noah was my best friend outside the Ducks. He felt my eyes on him and turned around slightly, winking at me.

Connie had gone in to brush her teeth (and probably to throw up) and had left Kale and I sitting on the floor, still hand in hand albeit discreetly.

'Julie?' he asked, green eyes shining at me. Such a cliché, but soooo hot.

'Kale?' I replied, twisting my hair with my free hand.

'I was serious about the hooking up part. To be honest, I am not a serious guy and I don't want a serious relationship. But if I have to be here, I want to have some fun. If you're up for it then…' he trailed off, shrugging his shoulders.

I weighed this up heavily in my mind. He wanted to have a casual relationship with me? Where we kiss and cuddle and have sex but are not tied together. Wasn't that kind of what Portman and I had had, and then not had? What if I fell for him? He must have seen the debate raging in my head, as he squeezed my hand.

'You don't love me Jules. You love Portman, and that's not going to change anything. But until you work things out, he will probably hook up with people. Why not have some fun for a change. It is senior year after all. And trust me, Im not going to fall in love with you, no offence. I'm not the falling in love type' he said, brushing my hair off my face.

I thought of Portman and how much I felt for him. I looked at Kale and it seemed to be purely sexual attraction. I liked him, he was a great guy, but Portman had my heart. But until he worked on his issues, we could never be.

'Ok,' I nodded, squeezing his hand.

He raised his eyebrows at me quizzically. I nodded again.

'But I want to keep it secret. We can have fun, but I don't want Portman to know' I felt like a liar and a cheat and not to mention a major slut. Who does this kind of thing?

'Jules, we don't have to have sex. But its fun just to hang out with someone, and well, I like you better than the others' he smiled. I felt better that we didn't have to have sex. It wasn't that I didn't want- the boy was hot But giving myself to someone like that? I wasn't sure I could go through with it completely.

He pulled me up to a standing position. Taking a quick glance at the bathroom door, where I could here Connie singing in the shower, he cupped my chin in his hand and kissed me.

It wasn't a Portman kiss. His kisses were dangerous, salty yet sweet, hard and amazing. Kale's was…soft, more experienced somehow. It was good. Very good. When he broke away I craved more. But it was missing the Portman touch, the thrill of seeing the face of the boy I loved. Kale was a great looking substitute but I guess it was devoid of emotion somewhat.

'When you and Portman get it together, then we break it off. I told you Jules, I don't get attached. But its fun while it lasts' he sent me a cheeky grin and left the room. Oh god, what was I doing? This wasn't me- Julie Gaffney, casual relationship? Or was that what had happened between Portman and I? Was I destined to be casual girl forever?


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